This past Friday I kissed my puppy goodbye and grudgingly started the six hour drive back to school. Even though I still woke up that morning with the painful longing in my stomach to stay home and comfortable in my own bed, listening to the crickets chirping in the early morning dew, I didn’t have the same dread and terror I felt last year. Granted, this year is and will be a lot different; I know the area, I know the people in my classes, I’m good friends with my roommate and we have a great group of friends who I’m extremely lucky to have found. Last year was like being thrown to into a stormy ocean with no life raft and told to keep my head above water. You could never pay me enough money to relive my first week of college.
But so far, this year is going well. Granted, I’ve only been here four days now, but my complete change in attitude is what’s really a game changer. I made a promise to myself and this city (letter included at the bottom of this post) that, for lack of a better term, I wouldn’t be such a bitch this year. Last year I let my feelings against being in school and temporary hatred for this city fester up and ruin most of the year, and I refuse to let that happen again. And so far, this place must know I’m giving it a second chance because it is definitely returning the favor. My apartment style dorm is shockingly amazing and I’m so excited to be here. I just got out of my first class of the new school year (Screenwriting, which is the class I am most excited about since I think that’s what I want to pursue) and I’m feeling pretty good about it. To be honest, this feeling is so weird for me, especially when it comes to school, since I spent all summer dreading coming back. But so far, for now, everything is going well. I’m going to focus more on making myself happy and having fun, rather than letting my classes and professors get me down. Especially since it’s still very much up in the air if I’m coming back for my Bachelor’s degree, I’m going to make the most out of what might be my last year in the city. And so far, things are going great.
A Letter to New York City,
Hello there. I have returned, though it’s unlike you’ve noticed, or even realized I left. One tiny person in a sea of eight million hardly makes a difference to you. Thousands of people all speed walking down the street, all with our own lives and problems, and we all expect you to cater to our every needs. Being away has made me realize how unrealistic it is to expect the VIP treatment from you and I realize now that a relationship is a two way street. We both have to put in equal amounts of effort to make this work. So, here I am back again, and I am promising you I’ll try harder this year. I’ll see the beauty hidden underneath the layers of dirt and garbage. I’ll explore more, film more and take a few breaths before throwing myself an absolute pity party (because even if we keep this promise, we both know there’s bound to be plenty of those). I’ve been here three days and I already feel our relationship is blooming, and we are rebuilding what was lost last year. We’re in for a time NYC.
-New Yorker #8,990,013